Rapid City, 12 June 2011
Dear Powers That Be,
Look. We have too much water up here. Everything around the Missouri River is in trouble and will be basically under water for the next two months. Rapid Creek is about to go over its banks, and, if I needed quarter-sized hail, I'd have asked you for it already. (BTW, why is hail measured by coin size up here? The Texas measurement system is pea, marble, ping-pong ball, orange, grapefruit, and softball.) We don't need a replay of 1972.
Meanwhile, the Lubbock folks have had an inch of rain in the past ten months.
Can the entity in charge of the weather settings up there please use a setting somewhere between 1 for Texas and 11 for South Dakota, somewhere in the median range, and leave the dials untouched for a few months?